I have been feeling like I'm drowning lately. I have been in so much pain over the past few months. I have had a diagnostic surgery to see what might be causing the pain. That turned out to be worthless. They weren't able to find out what was causing the pain. Now I need to go to another specialist to have more tests ran to see what is going on. I'm getting sick of seeing Doctors and having them find nothing wrong with me. I can't afford this. As it is I'm in so much medical dept that I don't think I will ever get over it. This is one of the reasons I feel like I'm drowning.
Another reason I feel like I'm drowning is the little amount of money that we have and all the bills. We pay half of our income to rent. I have heard that your housing should cost a third of your income. HAHA when does that ever happen? We pay half our income for the roof over our head. Then the rest goes to bills. I need to get my pills but I can't afford them half the time so I make due. With all the medical bills and the normal living bills I'm drowning. Todd is working hard and it's not far. There are times when I think that he should leave me he would be better off. He wouldn't have to work so hard, go to school so that he can in the future bring in more money to support us and then come home and take care of the house and me. It's not far he works to hard it's going to kill him and it will be my fault.
I'm drowning in a sea of bills, pain and depression. I'm getting tired of keeping my head above water. I'm ready to just give up and drown why shouldn't I. I know that's just the depression talking. I just feel so alone at the moment. I feel like I don't fit anywhere. Anyway sorry to bother you with all the negative talk. This to will pass one way or another.
