The Randomness I call My Life part 2

To continue on with the random pictures of my life. These next few are of my house and what I did in cleaning.

This is my husband sitting in our clean living room. I know that there are a few things that I need to do but at least you can see the floor!

 I cleaned in-between LDS General Conference okay all I did was shred old bills but this trash bag is 2 hours of doing it.


The last picture is the section of books that I didn't get cleaned in the living room. I got them stacked up nicely but still I need to organize them more but I was tired.

The other pictures on this post are of the ducks up by my place. I know that you can't see them very well but they are there. Todd and I took a walk and not to far up from our house there is a stream and there was about 11 ducks hanging out there.

Ducks and more Ducks.

The Randomness I call my LIfe Part 1

Okay so I have borrowed (stolen) my husbands camera. I have a few pictures on it that I wanted to add to the blog. I know they are just random things and I could blog about each one but I just thought that I would add them all at once and just show you the randomness of my life.

The first two pictures are of my Darling Husband Todd, our nephew Matthew, and my father in law Glen on the day Mathew received the Aaronic Priesthood. We were privileged to go up and be there for his special day. This was taken back in Feb. Yes I'm so behind on this blog that's why this is just randomness from my life.

Todd Barney, Matthew Doty, Glen Stephen Barney

Todd Barney, Matthew Doty, Glen Stephen Barney

 

Okay so I thought that maybe I would update the old blog today. Sorry again no pictures. I just need to get out the camera and take shots of my normal boring old days. I'm sure everyone would like that. Not that there's much of a following for my blog. It's ok because really I'm a boring person. For the few of you that do follow my blog here's the update.

I'm just going to say that March has been a busy and interesting month. First off on the 14th I turned the young age of 29. Lets talk about this a little bit. I say the young age of 29 because my age isn't as old as I feel some days. There are days that I feel like I'm a 100. Anyway enough about that. I had a good birthday my husband had to go to school that day but he made up for it by bringing home a Peanut Butter Pie. After all my birthday is pie day! I had a family party on the 10. On my birthday I missed my mom but knew that she was watching me from heaven. All day I had the song Holes in the Floor of Heaven going through my mind. Anyway enough about my birthday I got one year older and hopefully wiser too! :)

March is a month filled with birthdays in my family. My sister's birthday is the 17 and my brother's is the 23. So we had lots of cake and family time this month. On the 1st of April we will finish birthday month with my darling husbands 31 birthday. There is a family party planned for him. One more cake and then we wait until November for more birthday celebrating at least on my side of the family.

March has not only been busy with birthdays but my health hasn't been the best. Okay I know your thinking wait when has your health been good? That's all you complain about on here! I know and I'm sorry but this is my blog and like the title says my wishes and rants so live with it. Anyway like I was saying my health has been bad this month I'm back to passing out. My right side is going paralyzed more. I finally decided that it was time to go back to the doctor and have him run tests again to see if they can find out what is going on. So I went and my primary doctor referred me over to a Neurologist because he's thinking that the passing out might be seizures. Fun Not! Anyway today I had the MRI of the brain to see if they can find anything unusual. I'm really hoping they can. The bad news is I can't get in to the new doctor until May 16. I personally think this is an awful long time to wait to see him but when that's the only opening they have what can you do? April will fly by anyway right? right or at least here's hoping so. :)

On a happier note I have lost weight because of walking this time. Also I have been entering some book giveaways and have won some books. So the reading stack has piled up so on days when I can't get out of bed I have lots of books to read. Also I spoiled myself (well actually Todd my dear husband spoiled me) and bought me a Kindle Fire. It has been wonderful. I downloaded the gospel library and have been reading my scriptures more and also catching up on the Ensign and New Era. Also Angry Birds has been played a lot. Last night I watched Netflix on it. That was a life saver because I was hurting so bad that I wasn't sure I would be able to hold the computer on my lap but with the lighter kindle fire I was able to watch and not hurt. Oh and of course there are lots of wonderful free books for the kindle and I have been reading.

Okay now that I have gone on and on and everyone is bored of hearing about my boring dull life. I will get off and see if I can push myself enough to clean the house some. Thanks for listening (reading) my rant.

Drowning

I have been feeling like I'm drowning lately. I have been in so much pain over the past few months. I have had a diagnostic surgery to see what might be causing the pain. That turned out to be worthless. They weren't able to find out what was causing the pain. Now I need to go to another specialist to have more tests ran to see what is going on. I'm getting sick of seeing Doctors and having them find nothing wrong with me. I can't afford this. As it is I'm in so much medical dept that I don't think I will ever get over it. This is one of the reasons I feel like I'm drowning.
Another reason I feel like I'm drowning is the little amount of money that we have and all the bills. We pay half of our income to rent. I have heard that your housing should cost a third of your income. HAHA when does that ever happen? We pay half our income for the roof over our head. Then the rest goes to bills. I need to get my pills but I can't afford them half the time so I make due. With all the medical bills and the normal living bills I'm drowning. Todd is working hard and it's not far. There are times when I think that he should leave me he would be better off. He wouldn't have to work so hard, go to school so that he can in the future bring in more money to support us and then come home and take care of the house and me. It's not far he works to hard it's going to kill him and it will be my fault.
I'm drowning in a sea of bills, pain and depression. I'm getting tired of keeping my head above water. I'm ready to just give up and drown why shouldn't I. I know that's just the depression talking. I just feel so alone at the moment. I feel like I don't fit anywhere. Anyway sorry to bother you with all the negative talk. This to will pass one way or another.

I have been thinking a lot about memories lately. With Christmas almost here it seems that I keep trying to think about the Christmas's that we had with my mom. I miss her this time of year the most. I would like to share with you some of the memories that have surfaced lately.

I was thinking about my grandparents lately. Specially my grandma and grandpa B. It has been a long time since they past away. I was only 10 when they pasted away. My grandpa had alt-timers and my grandma couldn't take care of him so he was put in a rest home where you could get better care. I remember that every Sunday my parents and I would take my grandma to visit her. Grandpa didn't remember that many people there were only 3 of us that he remembered. My grandma, my dad (who was his middle daughter's husband) and me. I am the youngest grandchild on my mothers side of the family. I don't know why my grandpa remembered me and not my cousins but as a young child I didn't know how special that was. I would get so mad at him because he always thought I was 7. That was the age I was when he first started to get sick. To a 10 year old being remembered as younger than you are is a big deal. Anyway some of the memories I have of my grandpa is at the rest home taking him for a ride around the world. This just meant that I pushed him in his wheelchair around the halls. But I can remember making up stories with him about where in the world we were and what we would see there. I also can remember my grandpa before he was in the rest home.
The memory I hold the most dear about Grandpa Braithwaite was fishing on the lawn with him. This consisted of getting the lawn chairs out, a bucket, two sticks or rulers if we couldn't find any sticks, string. We would make fishing poles and pretend to catch fish in the bucket. It was so fun. I can still hear my grandma and mom sitting in the house laughing at us. While Grandpa and I fished he would teach me the words to the song You Are My Sunshine. Every time I hear that song I start to cry because it reminds me of this time with Grandpa. I will always have this memory and hold it dear. I like remembering Grandpa B fishing on the lawn to me and laughing and singing.

A memory of my Grandma Braithwaite that is dear to me well let me share with you a few of them. I remember that every time we went to Grandma's house she would have snacks and always try to feed us. I can remember getting into the freezer in the backroom and getting out a ding-dong. Another memory of Grandma is staying with her when I was home sick from school and Mom and Dad had to work. I would lay on the couch and watch Days of Our Lives and Guiding Light with her. She loved her soap opera's! I also remember Grandma letting me get in her dresser drawer and get a Little Debbie Nutter Butter which were her private stash. Another treasured memory is of a gift Grandma gave me.
I was really sick with the chicken pox's and Mom and Dad had taken Grandma shopping. When they got home Mom brought me this box and said that Grandma hoped I got feeling better soon and that this would help. I opened it and there was a porcelain music box. The music box has what I call a "Grandma" Goose and her granddaughter on it. It plays It's a Small World After All. I remember falling asleep to the song and thinking of grandma. When she died that music box became even more special to me. I can remember one time I ended up hitting it and breaking it. I cried and cried and told my parents that it had to be fixed because it was from Grandma and couldn't be replaced. My dad was able to super glue the goose back on in fact you can barely see the crack in it. I have always taken care of it in fact it stays on the piano in the front room. The music box always helps me remember my grandma.

This is a picture of my "Grandma Goose" Music box.

I have many memories of my mother. All my friends thought she was the coolest Mom on the block because she always treated them like family. Mom always had a smile on her face even when she was in a lot of pain. She would always sing specially when she was in pain. She always made up little songs. She was more than my mother she was always my friend. She knew how to make everything better. One of the memories that I hold dear is her reading to me at night. Mom would make up these stories about a squirrel named Timothy. Timothy always went on crazy adventures and Mom made these stories the best. I can always remember that Timothy was always getting into trouble and remembering things that his mother told him. I remember asking Mom to tell me another story about Timothy and what he got up to she would start telling me a story and I would say "no Mom that's not what he was doing last night." Mom would smile and say this is a different story about him tonight. I have this little squirrel figurine that I got after Mom died to help me remember her telling me stories about Timothy and all the mischief he got into.

This is a picture of Timothy.

These are just a few memories that make me feel close to my loved ones. I hope you enjoyed these treasured memories that I shared.

Things we take for granted.

I was thinking about everyday tasks that I do all the time. Most people take for granted some of the things that I think are major accomplishments. Let me explain what I mean. For me because of my health it really wears me out to get dressed. Most people take 5 minutes to get dress and they don't even think about it. It's just pick out the clothes and put them on. For me it's get the clothes get up the strength to lift my legs so that I can put on my pants. Then rest for at least 5 minutes then get the strength to lift my arms so I can get the shirt up over my head. Finally after I am dressed I have to lay down for a while (20-40minutes.) I watched my darling husband get dressed today to go to work it took him 15 minutes and this included a shower. Then I timed myself this morning it took me 20 minutes to get dressed and then 30 minutes to be able to move after dressing myself. I bet most of you don't even blink about getting dressed in the morning it's just something you do without even thinking about it. To me this was a big accomplishment!!

Another thing that most people take for granted is sleeping. I have had 8 hours if that in the past 2 weeks. I am not kidding you. Again the lack of sleep is because of health and hurting. Most people just go to bed at night and get up in the morning when the alarm goes off without even thinking about it. I most nights toss and turn trying to sleep. I look at the clock and think oh I've most likely been asleep for an hour most times it's nope it's only been 20 minutes. After laying in bed hurting for awhile I have to get up for a half hour that's all I allow myself and then I try to sleep some more. Most of the times at about 5am I give in that I will not be going to sleep and read a book in bed. Sometimes this helps me fall asleep so that I can at least get an hour of sleep before my husbands alarm goes off. After that it's touch and go if I will get anymore sleep. I slept one hour last night and I celebrated this morning that I got that much sleep in between the pain waking me up.

Just one more thing that I have noticed people tend to take for granted. Their parents. As children we always think that Mom and Dad will be there forever. It's really hard when we get a call tell us that one of them has past away. How many times do we go to pick up the phone to call Mom or Dad and say oh I'm to busy I will call them tomorrow. Or we say I will go down next week and see them. I think we can all say that we always think there will be a tomorrow and plenty of time to talk to our parents. I know I did this. I can call Mom tomorrow and tell her I love her. I can see her tomorrow. I don't have anymore tomorrows to see my mom. Please don't take the ones you love especially your parents for granted. Tell them every chance you get that you love them. Make an effort each day to let the loved ones in your life know how much they mean to you. Don't let one single I love you pass you buy.

My Mother.

My mom passed away on June 26 2010. She had been sick a month before but was getting better and in a Rehab center to gain her strength. The Sunday before she passed away we had a party for Father's Day at the rehab center. She was getting better making plans of all the things we would do together when she got home. Monday before she died my sister and I went and visited her. She told us to go with our friend to her cabin for a vacation we needed it. I was looking forward to seeing her Saturday when we got home. Saturday early morning we got a phone call telling us that Mom had died at 4am. It was a total shock!

Here is the obituary for my mom.

Shirlene

Braithwaite

Wiscombe

1945 ~ 2010

Shirlene Braithwaite Wiscombe, age 65 of Mapleton, passed away Saturday, June 26, 2010. She was born January 12, 1945 in Spanish Fork, Utah to George Davis and Evelyn Clara Madsen Braithwaite. She married Edward M. Wiscombe July 15, 1966 in the Salt Lake Temple.

Shirlene was born and raised in Spanish Fork, graduating from High School and Seminary with honors in 1963. In 1961, she was a delegate to the United Nations Model Assembly at University of Utah. In 1963, she was a sterling scholar in foreign language for Utah in Russian. Shirlene attended both Utah State and B.Y.U.

Shirlene served as Relief Society President for several different wards. She also served as homemaking counselor, directed several family history centers and worked in the Provo Temple until her health prohibited her.

She is survived by her husband of Mapleton; one son and two daughters: Shelly (Eric) Flanders of Springville, Edward M. Jr. (Melissa) Wiscombe of Mapleton, Stacy Louise (Todd) Barney of Springville; and one granddaughter. She is also survived by two sisters: Arlene (Jim) Hendricks of Texas, and Connie Joy Rowe of Idaho. She was preceded in death by parents, one brother and two sisters.

Funeral services will be held Thursday, July 1, 2010 at 11 a.m. in the LDS Chapel at 1600 North Main in Mapleton. There will be a viewing held Wednesday evening from 7 to 9 p.m. at Wheeler Mortuary, 82 West 400 North in Mapleton and Thursday at the church one hour prior to the services. Interment will be in the Evergreen Cemetery.

The funeral went well I spoke. I will post my talk in a later post. I will miss my mother but I know that I will be with her again.